A while back, I posted about our season of waiting on the Lord. We are still in this season and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I have felt frustrated and isolated, while at the same time remaining hopeful and learning to rest with Jesus. It hasn’t been until very recently that I made the decision to just fully embrace having to wait instead of wishing it were over. I’ll be honest – it’s been hard up to this point. I just wanted answers. I wanted vision. I wanted to move on.
What I had been lacking to see and understand was that this season was supposed to be special. I had failed to understand that it was an invitation from the Lord. And what I know about invitations is that they are given with careful selection. I remember as a kid, when I had a birthday party coming up, I made a list of friends that I wanted to invite. They were all people that I personally chose, knowing that their presence at my party would make it intimate and special to me.
So when I came to this realization, I asked the Lord what waiting should look like for me. Practically. Because up to this point, all I had been doing was literally, physically waiting. Sure, I was praying, seeking answers, all of those things….but it just felt like a dead end. So again, when I asked, He answered with two words.
I sat there trying to imagine what ‘intentional waiting’ looked like, which seemed contradictory. And in His perfect love, He immediately showed me this picture:
My husband is my favorite person in the world. I love when he’s around, I thoroughly enjoy his company and I never feel like a need a ‘break’ from him. He works during the week until 5, meaning he’s usually home around 5:30. When he’s gone, I do miss him. I miss his presence in our home. I’m eagerly anticipating when he gets home, making a list in my head of things I want to talk to him about or show him. More importantly, I’m excited about the quality time we will spend together and with the girls.
So I spend my day ‘waiting’ on him to get home. But I’m not just sitting in a chair watching the clock. I’m taking care of our 3 girls, doing housework, singing ‘Baby Shark’ for the 215th time that day, making lists, planning piano lessons, fitting a workout in, making dinner, etc. Once 4:00 starts to roll around, this excitement starts building up. I know Kaleb will be home soon. There’s this sense of anticipation in the room and the girls can feel it too. They’ll start looking out the door saying, “Daddy’s coming!” Finally, we can hear the car coming up our long, mountainous driveway and there’s such an eagerness in the air. When he opens the door and walks into the room, the atmosphere in our home changes.
Kaleb doesn’t even have to say a thing. His presence is enough. I waited all day for him to come home and without fail, he did. It’s all I need.
As I’m picturing this, the Lord pointed out my intentional waiting. During the day I was living and thriving, taking care of my family’s needs and finding joy in things that I love and enjoy – all while waiting for Kaleb to come.
So in this process, I am choosing to be intentional.
Intentional with my marriage.
Intentional with my parenting.
Intentional with my hobbies and interests.
Intentional with my ideas and dreams.
Most importantly, I am going to be intentional with my pursuit of Jesus. I’m pursuing Him and nothing else. Not answers, not what He can do for me, not just what I can solely get out of the relationship. Just Him. He longs to reveal Himself to us if only we will take the time to get to know Him.
His presence is enough. When He comes, He doesn’t even have to say a thing.
I remember when my husband and I first starting dating. We spent so much time asking each other questions to get to know each other. After being married and knowing each other as long as we have, it’s so much deeper than knowing ‘surface’ things about each other. I can tell what he’s thinking, I understand his journey and I am still pursuing him daily to find out more.
And in my relationship with Jesus, I’m not satisfied with just surface things. I want to sing songs with lyrics like, “I want to know your heart” with integrity, truly understanding what that kind of pursuit looks like. But it takes being intentional. Not just going through a devotional journal in order to cross it off a to-do list, but really listening and finding Him during the day. Finding Him in my marriage, in my girls – in Abby’s eyes, in Anna’s smile and in Rebekah’s joy, and in our dreams.
We have had several prophetic words spoken over us the past few months – all encouraging, all beyond the season of waiting – however, they are void if I don’t put forth the effort. I see this happen so often in prophecy. People think that if they are given a word that is ‘future driven’, it’ll just happen on it’s own. There’s a cost to see it come to fruition.
It’s like waiting on a pizza to be delivered to your house, yet never picking up the phone to call in the order.
The Lord comes through on his promises. He has promised so many wonderful things for our family’s future, but our present is still awesome! Instead of looking for answers for the future, I chose to focus on Him in the present. He has selected us to walk with Him through this season of waiting. It has been a special invitation to intimacy this whole time and I just now am seeing it. I can feel Him shifting things in me, realigning my heart and renewing my mind.
So my encouragement is this – if you’re in a season of waiting, be intentional.
Pursue Him, find Him, get to know His heart. Get to the point where there is an eagerness in your heart while waiting for Him to come. Wait with anticipation.
Because He will come, I promise. Just don’t miss out on what you can learn about Him in the waiting like I almost did.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6
What have you learned during your season of waiting?