When it comes to sleep, I want as much as possible. Even before “adulting”, I would typically be in bed early so that I could get 8 to 9 hours of sleep at night. I am not a night-owl, nor am I am morning person. Ha…meaning I need my sleep so that I’m not unpleasant to be around.
Of course, having kids changed my sleeping habits. I can’t remember the last time I had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Somehow, I’ve managed to adapt to still be a functioning member of society during the day! But I’ll admit that I still have my struggles.
As a mom, I have been created to be the nurturer, the caretaker, the comforter. Even during times when I’d rather be sleeping. I must confess that at 3 AM I have not been the most “loving” mother to my children.
Especially this past week.
For 4 nights in a row, Anna woke up multiple times, which would then wake her older sister up as well. Looking back, I should have handled those nights way better. I allowed myself to become frustrated immediately for one simple reason – I just wanted to sleep.
Anna needed me. She wanted me. Why else would she cry out in the middle of the night? Shouldn’t she know that her mom will be there for her at any time, no matter what? These are things I pray for both of my girls – that they would find comfort, safety and love in their Daddy and I for their whole life. That they will never hesitate to reach out to us, no matter what the situation. I’ve been making the mistake of only applying those prayers to their future and not in the present.
When Anna cries during the night, she is looking for me. She’s wanting to know that she is safe and that I’m available. That I’m there.
It’s just how the Father is with us. He’s always available. He keeps us safe. He comforts. When we cry out to Him, He is there no matter what the situation. He just says, “Come to me. I’m all you need. I’m your everything. I’m here.”
That is what He spoke to me during that fourth morning of early wake-up calls. I had a choice that morning. To lack in love or to be full of love. I prayed for grace and His presence and this is the lesson He taught me as I was rocking my baby back to sleep.
I’m always praying to be a better parent and daily interceding for my girls. He used those dreaded wake-up calls as a teaching moment for me. His love for me allows me to model that same type of love to my girls. Finally, after 4 long nights, I listened.
Last night, Anna woke up once during the night and my approach was different. But so was her response. 2 minutes later, we were both back to sleep for the rest of the night. 🙂
Will those early mornings still happen? Yes. Will I still be sleepy? Absolutely. Is it worth it?
In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3
There’s just something different about meeting with the Father in the morning. How has your life been impacted by choosing to meet with Him in the morning?