Lost And Found

Today was quite traumatic.

I had taken the girls to the mall for the afternoon so Kaleb could work on his online classes. After I let them play in the kids play area, we ate lunch in the food court and they quickly let me know that they were over this outing. Crying, whining, breaking out of the straps to the stroller….you get the idea. I all but sprinted to the car and got them loaded up, only to find that the worst possible thing in the world had happened.
Abby’s blue puppy was missing! 

The puppy she carries with her everywhere. The puppy she sleeps with every night. Puppy, that can be seen in more than half of the pictures we take of her. 

I was instantly panicked. I didn’t dare try the stroller again, but knew we had to go back in and find puppy. I threw Anna in the Tula carrier on my back and carried Abby on my hip.

I looked like a crazy person. I was on the verge of tears and out of breath as I was literally speed walking through the mall retracing my steps. Abby was tired and screaming and I was frustrated so we had to end our search early. 

I loaded them up again, sat in the driver’s seat and sobbed. I’m talking ugly cry, moaning, you’d think someone just died kind of sobbing. I started praying and begging that God would lead Kaleb to puppy. At this point, I’d already called him and he volunteered to come back and search. I even said, “Lord, there’s nothing I’ve ever needed more!” 

Then God spoke to me in that moment and convicted me in the most loving way.

He asked, “When is the last time you have contended for something with such passion and drive as you are now about puppy?”

Wow. Ouch. Thank you, Lord.

He’s right. Why am I not on my face, crying out….sobbing…for salvation. For healings. For His presence. For the nations. For our country. For abortion to end. 

My excuses have to stop. “I just can’t get alone time away from the kids long enough.” Well today, I sobbed and prayed for puppy to be found with both girls in the backseat! Why shouldn’t they see me praying with such passion?

God is good and gets even better. Kaleb went back to the mall to search for puppy. About an hour later he called me to video chat. When I answered, who was on the screen?

Puppy 🙂

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:7


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Little Girl Giggles

My two girls were sitting on the floor in the living room, playing contently together. I needed to walk into the kitchen to refresh my coffee so I took the opportunity while I didn’t have a tiny person needing their Mama. I was gone for about 2 seconds when I heard the most precious sound.
Little girl giggles.

Sister giggles.

I snuck back in to see what the giggling was all about. I didn’t want them to see me and stop doing whatever it was that was causing their laughter.

I managed to get a picture of the scene and it was the cutest. Abby had gotten ahold of her sister’s puffs and poured them out all over Anna’s lap. It was the most hilarious thing in the world to both of them. By this point Anna had a belly laugh going on!


While I could have gotten upset over the mess, I chose to embrace the memory. But it wasn’t my memory…it was theirs. One of many that they will make together. 

When we found out we were pregnant with Anna, I’ll admit that I was more overwhelmed than excited at first. Abby was only 5 months old and I was still figuring her out. But God knew what He was doing. He wasn’t just blessing me with two daughters…He was blessing Abby and Anna with a sister and a best friend. They will always have each other. What a joy it is to have them so close in age. 

My prayer as their mom is that they are always close. That they continue to make memories together. That they don’t find themselves in petty fights. That they will always be best friends. That they will challenge each other, lift each other up and grow in God together.

And that they never stop giggling.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
My children are always teaching me more about the love of the Father. What have you learned from having children?

Am I Getting This Parenting Thing Right, Lord?

As a mom of two children under the age of 2, I often wonder,

“Am I getting this right?”

I am constantly seeking the Lord for guidance on raising my girls. He leads me to scriptures, He leads me to other couples with children, to books, and best of all, He uses the Holy Spirit to speak to me. 

A few days ago, the Lord showed me that YES…yes, I am doing it right. To not be anxious and to seek His righteousness and all would fall in order. 

I had a livestream feed of our revival services playing through the computer beside the recliner. The worship leader was singing while I was giving Anna, my youngest, her bottle. Abby walked up to the screen and without being prompted, started worshipping.

My 20 month old. Praying (in her own babble, but in my heart I knew it was fire!) and worshipping God with her hands raised!

What does this mean for me as a parent?

Everything.

She has been paying attention to her daddy and I. She sees us engaged in worship both at church and at home. She hears us praying. She is following our example. 

Thank you Lord for this confirmation! It is my desire to raise her and Anna to have hearts that burn for the Lord. I long to see them take the vow of a Nazarite, crying out for His glory with nothing else satisfying their hunger for God.

I know that I get some things wrong and am constantly growing and learning this whole parenting thing. BUT I also know that I am doing a lot of things right!

Start off children the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

What “aha” or confirmations have you received as a parent?

Nearness

Last week, I wrote this post and put it on Facebook. It was birthed from a place of urgency from the Lord. It was also a timely word and for me, one of the greatest revelation moments I have ever had. I’d like to share it here.

I have never written such a long post but I felt the Lord pressing me to share this.

This morning has been exhausting and frustrating. I had 5 hours of interrupted sleep last night, Abby has been throwing tantrums and Anna has been extremely fussy. After being up for an hour, I already felt like a failure. 

We went about our morning and loaded the girls up for a youth event. As soon as we arrived, things kept going downhill. Abby started throwing the fit of her life and I became overwhelmed with not knowing what to do. It is so out of the norm for her. Meanwhile, Anna was becoming increasingly agitated in my absence as I was dealing with Abby. I finally looked at Kaleb and told him he would just have to drop us back off at the house and I would just have to miss out. As we walked out to the van with two crying children, I felt so low. Kaleb was awesome, as always. He affirmed me to the point where I was actually believing him – haha. I agreed to drive the van around the parking lot to get our tired, cranky girls to sleep while he finished a meeting. 

And there God met with me.

He whispered one word to me: “Nearness”. Then I lost it.

He showed me a picture of Anna – how she is not content with just being in the same room with me. If she knows that I am there, she does whatever it takes to get my attention. She cries out, reaches for me and stays persistent. The moment I pick her up, she grips me with all of her strength and brings her body and face in as close as possible. She showers me with affection. It is a violent love.

And that is how our Father is with us. He is always present, but it’s not enough for Him. He is violently pursuing us and persistently getting our attention. He longs to be near us and intimate with us. Many times, I feel like Jesus is in the room with us when we feel “alone”, yet we sabotage ourselves and feel distant because we won’t accept His love. We’re not answering. So let Him love on you! Let Him grip you tight and saturate you with affection and grace. He is a Father and that’s what a father does.

So as I’m circling the parking lot in a big red van, just feeling overwhelmed with my Father’s love, I look back and make eye contact with Abby. She smiles at me, sighs and drifts off to sleep in contentment. She is near me and her world is back in order.

The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways. I allowed Him to use a temper tantrum for the history books as an opportunity for Him to teach me more about His character. He certainly is a good Father. I’ll bring this long post to a close with this scripture:

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8